I've forgiven you for leaving. I've forgiven myself for staying

"You've been the sweetest part of my life, Kik. and I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if you ever left. I'm scared that you would find someone who is prettier, who is more interesting, and more attractive. I'm scared that you might leave me soon"

Although I fully understand that nothing lasts forever, and happily ever after is only for Cinderella and her prince, its undenieable that I would never be ready if that time for us to say good bye.  

I realized that I have drowned into love way too deep, and I started to worry about everything. I'm not being hyperbolic but its true.
now I should be able to accept the fact that you didn't want me again, like I used to.  You had your choices, and I had mine. We all have our freedom to decide. We all have our preference to experience. I've forgiven you for leaving. I've forgiven myself for staying. I apologize for all my behaviour makes you irritated over this. I now realized, that my behavior was bad and you don't like because of it. I'm a Hyperbola. I'm childish. 

Now you can go, look for someone can make you serene setting any time. 

 I did not change. I'm just learning. that life doesn't always have to be happy. 

sincerelly, Ratih Kharismawati.